Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
