I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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