I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize