Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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