i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When are your genitals available?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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