Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
ttyl tear gas
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I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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