My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
