Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
