Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
