I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
