Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
