Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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