so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
pop tarts are not kleenex
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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