don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
