wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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