i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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