I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
