i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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