i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
