Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
