Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax