just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
