why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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