I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
