You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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