I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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