His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize