I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
