she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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