i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
