I wish i was in the wii world.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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