well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize