i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
