i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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