i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
