shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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