I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Let's paint friendship bongs
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
