I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize