I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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