There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize