This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
