I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize