I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There r osticjed everywhere
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
