Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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