I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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