No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
