I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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