don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
