finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
