For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
