Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
