OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
