wat bout pragnant strippers??
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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