How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
