so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
don't judge my taste in strippers
Holy sore nipples Batman
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
