haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize