Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
