we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
